


Love Is Alive

by FrisianWanderer



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Friends to Lovers, Multi, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-10 05:10:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10429851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrisianWanderer/pseuds/FrisianWanderer
Summary: Clarke looks at her friend, feeling shocked and confused, while Bellamy waits for a response. In the heat of the moment she doesn’t know how to react, because this isn’t a situation she ever envisioned.  Therefore, she decides to handle it like the mature, responsible adult that she is - by making a joke out of it. He can’t be serious anyway, she reminds herself; Bellamy doesn’t do romantic relationships and has never given her the slightest indication he wanted that with her.She chuckles and playfully rolls her eyes at him. “Come on Bell, we all know how you date. You come with one girl and leave with another. That’s not what I’m looking for.”-Or the one where it takes them a while to get there, but they get there eventually.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Without [Nicole's](https://fitastrophe.tumblr.com/) help this would've never been as enjoyable as it is now, so THANK YOU NICOLE! :D
> 
> (Title from Lea Michele's new song bc it's awesome)

There are a few things Clarke Griffin knows about Bellamy Blake. Scratch that, she knows a _lot_ about her best friend, but if she has to name three things off the top of her head, they would be:

  1. He loves his sister Octavia more than life itself.
  2. He’s a Stubborn Nerd™ who loves Ancient History, Latin, Harry Potter and Sudoku, and will stay and defend his opinion until his opponent either agrees/gives in, or Bellamy himself is defeated by exhaustion.
  3. He’s a player. Not in a way where he’s disrespectful to women, but Bellamy Blake likes his one night stands. Finding pleasure with a different woman as many times a week as possible, falling asleep alone, followed by meeting their tightknit group of friends for brunch the following morning. Bellamy would go through fire for his loved ones, but he has never (and probably never will) put any value in romantic relationships.



That’s why Clarke is so surprised when Bellamy asks her to be his _date_ to the Unity Day party Raven’s new “friend” Roan is throwing. They were already supposed to go together, however not _together_ together. Their friends had all agreed to meet up, pre-game with some shots in case Roan’s party is awful, and then walk there as a group so that no one had to worry about being the DD. Bellamy never looks for a _date_ , only a wingman.

(And since when is Unity Day a _date_ thing?)

Clarke looks at her friend, feeling shocked and confused, while Bellamy waits for a response. In the heat of the moment she doesn’t know how to react, because this isn’t a situation she ever envisioned. Therefore, she decides to handle it like the mature, responsible adult that she is - by making a joke out of it. He can’t be serious anyway, she reminds herself; Bellamy doesn’t do romantic relationships and has never given her the slightest indication he wanted that with _her_.

She chuckles and playfully rolls her eyes at him. “Come on Bell, we all know how you date. You come with one girl and leave with another. That’s not what I’m looking for.” The bartender finishes up their order, and Clarke grabs a couple of their drinks and leaves the rest for Bellamy to take. “Come on, let’s go back to the others” she says, smiling.

Bellamy barely reacts, a smirk gracing his features, and follows her lead. 

That’s it, they never talk of it again. Clarke has already forgotten the conversation when she wakes up the next morning, and Bellamy never mentions it again either.

At the Unity Day party Clarke meets Lexa DiFeuilles, the lead singer of the band that’s playing at the bash.  It’s lust at first sight, however she rapidly falls head over heels in love with the girl. At the bonfire they share their first kiss, and that’s the start of their passionate relationship. Lexa consumes Clarke, demands all of her attention, and she gladly gives it to her.

As time with Lexa passes, her friends grow more and more annoyed with Clarke, especially Raven and Bellamy. Clarke understands their annoyance, even acknowledges that it’s becoming a problem.  It’s just that Lexa doesn’t feel comfortable around her gang, and Clarke has a bad habit of indulging her. Clarke does make sure she sees her friends at least twice a month (Lexa sometimes even tags along), and never misses an anniversary or birthday.

For the next year and a half it seems that Clarke’s life consists of the same weekly schedule.  While she never thought she’d have such a mundane, domestic life, she’s happy. She has her girlfriend, who she feels a depth of love for that she’s has never felt before, she has her friends who make her laugh until she’s worried she’ll wet herself, and a job she truly enjoys at the Art Museum. She draws and plays water polo in her free time, and dreams of having her own vegetable garden one day.

Lexa’s on board with them growing their own food, as long as they have a couple of birds, too.

Clarke laughs when her girlfriend proposes the compromise. “You want birds?”

Lexa kicks the blonde’s feet with her own. “Don’t laugh at me. My band is called _Chants d'Oiseaux_ , so yeah, obviously I want some songbirds of my own someday”

A chuckle leaves Clarke’s lips. “Fine, but you have to clean up all of the bird shit”

“And you’re going to be the one that will do all of the manuring in our vegetable garden – I’m not touching _that_ shit” Lexa shoots back, amused.

Everything continues on like normal until Monty and Miller get engaged.  It doesn’t change the group dynamic at all, but now everyone has a wedding magazine tucked under their arm or spread out on their tables, and their moods are positively gleeful. Clarke is both ecstatic and hesitant about the new development in her friends’ relationship, being an only child of divorced parents and all, but it does convince her that she’s ready for the next step with Lexa. 

“Pay up, Princess - I win.” Bellamy says in lieu of a greeting when she meets him for lunch, a Coke already waiting for her. One promise she made to herself when Bellamy and Raven called her out on pulling away from the group, was that she would keep up their biweekly lunch dates. 

“You know, it’s cheating when you’re the best friend of the guy that’s about to propose” Clarke counters, as she pulls a face at him and sits down. “Miller probably told you right before you goaded me into making that bet.”

“It may have been a drunken memory” Bellamy admits. “But I’ll go double or nothing with you: whoever gets them the best engagement gift wins the—what is it now? Nine hundred sixty bucks?”

Clarke laughs over the ridiculousness of it all. “Deal” she agrees.

The waiter comes along and they both order their usual; Clarke going for the Double Cheeseburger Extraordinaire and Bellamy for the pasta carbonara. He lets out a dramatic sigh when the waiter leaves. “You’re going to die an early death because of all of that junk food you inhale like oxygen” he says, just like he does every time she orders the burger.

“The goal is to eventually pass out into a food coma and just never wake up. It’s painless, delicious, and I’ll go out doing what I love: stuffing myself with food” Clarke quips.

Bellamy rolls his eyes at her, but can’t help the laughter that escapes him. “As far as deaths go, that doesn’t really sound that terrible”

Clarke raises her drink. “I’ll drink to that.” Bellamy lifts his own drink, and when she swallows her gulp, she shares the news she can’t keep to herself any longer. “Lexa and I are moving in together”, she says with a smile. Something flashes in Bellamy’s eyes, and Clarke suppresses a groan.

“Jesus Bellamy, don’t start” she complains, a warning in her voice. “As long as you and I are friends and Lexa and I are dating, she’s going to be in your life; to a certain extent, at least, and—“

“I know, I know, and I didn’t say a word” Bellamy quickly interjects, knowing all too well how this particular conversation is going to unfold. “I may not agree with Lexa on everything –“

“That’s an understatement” Clarke grumbles.

“—but we have one thing in common and that’s _you_. I want you to be happy, Princess, and I don’t want to lose my best friend over a disagreement. Especially a disagreement over someone that makes you happy. I support you no matter what, so if she makes you this happy, then I’m happy for you.”

Clarke gives him a relieved and grateful smile. “Thanks Bell. Now let’s talk engagement gifts. And how’s Gina doing, by the way?”

In the course of Clarke’s relationship with Lexa, Bellamy’s interest in romantic relationships had awakened and he was now dating an amazing girl named Gina Martin. She was a bartender at this bar their group of friends were regulars at, and she and Bellamy had been going out for some months now.

Bellamy starts telling Clarke about his last date with Gina. They had gone ice skating, and while Gina had been a natural, Bellamy however had been a natural disaster. He tells her how he’s still sporting black and blue bruises, five days later. When their food arrives and Clarke’s done laughing at him, they discus what’s best to get Monty and Miller as an engagement present. Neither one of them has a lot of experience in the field.

“Should we get them a toaster? Or a set of plates?” Bellamy suggests, pushing up his glasses. 

“Pretty sure those are wedding gifts” Clarke shares, before taking a large bite of her burger.

“Oh, yeah, fuck. We need to get them wedding gifts too”

Bellamy thinks it over for a sec. “Maybe we can just give them cash?”

Clarke snorts. “How thoughtful of you. It really shows how much you care about your friends and the lengths you’re willing to go for them”, she replies, sardonically. 

Bellamy sticks his tongue out at her. “They’d appreciate it” he counters.

“Fine, you give them something they appreciate, I’ll give them something they’ll love.”

That statement leads them into a heated discussion of what would be a better gift: something practical like a new lamp, or something from Dungeons and Dragons (the game is what kick started Monty and Miller’s relationship). As the awesome and functional friends that Clarke and Bellamy are, they agree on a compromise – something practical with a theme that’s close to Monty and Miller’s heart. Something like a D&D salt and pepper shakers or a Mario Kart cooking apron.

“Maybe I’ll just paint a portrait of the two of them. They can hang it in their new house” the blonde muses aloud, before picking up her burger.

Bellamy swallows his tea and puts the glass down. “Damn it, Princess. That’s practical, something they’ll love, handmade _and_ thoughtful” he gives her a mock glare, making Clarke chuckle.

“Yup. So, why don’t you save yourself the time and energy and sign me that check already” she winks.

“Nope, I can still win. I’ll make them a rocking chair or something”

Clarke bursts out in laughter. “ _Please_ , you can’t even put together an IKEA cabinet on your own!”

“That’s _IKEA_. Everyone knows their shit comes straight from hell to annoy you and question every one of your life decisions that has lead you to building that Swedish devil”

Clarke doesn’t dignify Bellamy with a reply to his overdramatic statement, but rolls her eyes and throws one of her fries at his face instead. It hits it’s goal, then lands in his lap. Bellamy picks up the fry and finishes it. 

Clarke loves hanging out with Bellamy. They always end up debating – whether it’s something important or something stupid, he makes her laugh and makes her feel appreciated. Bellamy has the unique ability to always make her feel warm and happy, even if she’s just arrived after a fight with Lexa and had to brave a rainstorm to meet him. She can’t imagine her life without her best friend.

 

* * *

 

A few weeks after her lunch with Bellamy, Lexa breaks the news that her band has been booked as the opening act for some famous rock and roll singer. Clarke is obviously ecstatic Lexa’s dreams are finally coming true and her hard work is paying off, but that does change a whole lot of things for them.

Lexa leaves for almost a year. They decide to do the long-distance thing, and it puts a hold on their plans to move in together. The first month of Lexa’s tour is the hardest, but Clarke learns that she still has a life without her girlfriend, and that makes being apart a whole lot easier. Their relationship is all texts, phone calls and Skype sex, until Lexa has a couple of days off and comes home about three months in. 

Clarke has been looking forward to picking up her girlfriend from the airport since they said their goodbyes, but she can’t help but feel like something has shifted in their relationship when they’re finally reunited. There’s suddenly a whole lot more pressure to have a memorable time, and Clarke somehow feels a little awkward around her. Even their movements around each other in Clarke’s apartment are out of sync: they keep bumping into each other in the kitchen while cooking dinner and Lexa just can’t seem to find the right position in Clarke’s arms when snuggling on the couch.  Even their conversations seem stilted, like they have more to tell each other when it’s through text as opposed to being right in front of each other. 

The next two months Lexa is gone, they speak less and less often. When she comes home again for another visit, things seem to have cooled down even more. The after-sex cuddles stop, and Lexa isn’t the first thing on Clarke’s mind when she wakes up in the morning. Clarke would rather text her friends, namely Bellamy, about a weird dream she’s had or to complain about the weather. He always texts her back something just as amusing.

“I just don’t know what to do”, Clarke confides in Raven one day, when her blood has mixed with a lot of wine. “I love Lexa and I always thought she was The One, you know? I just want things to go back to how they were..” she says, on the brink of tears.  She brings her glass up to her lips and empties it in one go.

Raven refills it without a word. “Maybe you’ll get back to that when she moves back home?”

“Maybe..” Clarke doesn’t even sound convincing to her own ears. “But shouldn’t those rare weekends be like paradise? Not something that feels like it should be treated the same way as a dentist appointment you have to suffer through…”

Raven thinks it over for a moment while Clarke opens the second bottle of wine. “You said you want things to go back to how they once were, but you also said you don’t really miss her as much you thought you would. So, do you even mean it when you say you want things to go back to how they once were?”

“What do you mean? Of course I do!” Clarke protests, confused and annoyed.

“Well, what I meant was—“ Raven pauses for a second, biting her lip. “Do you want Lexa back or do you want back what you once felt for her?”

“The second. Both. Shit” Clarke lets out a tortured sigh. “I want the future I pictured myself having with Lexa. A hot girlfriend, a large home with an art room, a vegetable garden in the backyard.. But, I don’t want any damned birds”

“What?” Raven looks confused.

“Forget it” Clarke grumbles, before gulping down some more wine. “You’re right – I love Lexa and in just a few short months she’ll be home for good, we’ll move in together, and everything we’ll be great again.” Before Raven can even respond, Clarke changes the subject.

Clarke may feel positive about their future, but apparently Lexa doesn’t. A few weeks after girls night with Raven, Lexa breaks up with Clarke via Skype.

Even though Clarke had her doubts, she’s still devastated when Lexa ends things between them. They had over two years of shared love, memories, laughter – all of which were now tainted by heartbreak. Future plans were dead and gone, and in a way Clarke was grieving; over her past and over the future she would never have.

Wine, Ben & Jerry, Netflix, and Adele were all her constant companions in the weeks that follow. Clarke wastes dozens of tissues, keeps hoping Lexa will change her mind, and keeps scrolling through old pictures of the two of them together. What she grieves for the most however, is how she’s more upset over losing the relationship as opposed to losing Lexa specifically. Clarke’s the embodiment of the typical broken-hearted girl, until Jasper has had enough and drags her out of her apartment to bar hop with their friends. At first Clarke hates Jasper for making her re-enter society, but she forgives him when she actually has a good time. She dances with Octavia and Monty, does shots with Raven and Jasper, and plays darts with Bellamy and Miller.

After two drinks too many, the blonde finds herself in her previous dark mood, and she has to do her best to keep her tears at bay. Someone comes to stand next to her at the bar, and Clarke’s about to tell them off, when she sees it’s Bellamy. In a weird way, it both improves and worsens her mood.

“Well, I guess you’re pleased now” Clarke spits out with a slur, knocking back the last of her rum and coke. “You never liked her anyways” she says accusingly with a bite in her voice.   

“That’s not fair,” Bellamy says, his tone clearly upset and a bit hurt.  “At times I may’ve thought she was arrogant and cold, but she loved you and she made you happy, so..” Bellamy trails off, gaze unfocused and his jaw clenches. “But, I—I love you, Clarke. I would never want you to feel like this.  And I most certainly wouldn’t be _happy_ about you feeling this way.”

Clarke says nothing, just stares at him, blinking away the wetness in her eyes.

“Let’s get you home” he mumbles, barely audible over the loud music and white noise.

 

* * *

 

 

Monty and Miller get married in a private ceremony on the beach the next summer. Jasper and Bellamy are the best men to the grooms, respectively, and everyone is wearing bright colours and flip-flops as requested.

If you asked Clarke a few weeks before hand, she’d say she had been dreading the day.  It was definitely never in her plan to not be celebrating this without Lexa by her side. Going alone just seemed like salt in her wounds. But, Lexa not being there meant that she could spend the whole day with Bellamy (who was also without a date) and that’s far from a consolation prize in her book. 

Clarke’s wearing her hair in a messy bun that’s pinned back with some purple flowers and a blue sundress that’s wrapped loosely around her curves. “You look beautiful” Bellamy compliments her, when they’re dancing a dance she initiated.

“Thank you” she smiles. “You don’t look so bad yourself, _best man_ ”

Clarke can’t remember the last time she felt as weightless and safe as she does right that moment, while she dances with her best friend, the sounds of the ocean in the background. It was definitely before the break-up with Lexa, probably in a moment when they were still together. 

“I’m sorry Gina couldn’t make it” she says eventually, breaking their comfortable silence.

“Yeah..” he mumbles vaguely and leaves it at that.

Clarke quirks an eyebrow at him. “What’s wrong?” she demands, not being fooled.

“Nothing that can’t wait, Princess” he promises. “This is the best day in Miller’s life, thus one of mine, so we’re not going to ruin that with dumb stuff”

Clarke sees his logic, so agrees. “I have some news though” she gives him a smile that shows the childlike excitement she feels inside. “I was asked to make an original piece for this art show in a gallery downtown”

She watches as Bellamy’s expression turns from one displaying forced cheerfulness to one of absolute elation, as his eyes begin to sparkle with happiness and pride, and his lips turn into the most bright and broad smile Clarke’s ever seen.

“Holy fuck, Princess!” he exclaims, and he wraps his strong arms around her waist, pulling her closely against his form. “I’m so proud of you. Congratulations – you’re going to be amazing”

She returns his hug by wrapping her arms around his shoulders and buries her face in the crook of his neck, inhaling a whiff of his scent. “Thank you, Bell. I couldn’t have done it without you’re support”

Clarke can feel Bellamy’s fingertips trail a pattern over her shoulder blades and his chest vibrate against hers when he lets out a low chuckle. “Yes, you could’ve. You’re so talented, Clarke. It’s mind-blowing”

She can feel the unexpected compliment heating up her cheeks. “You’re coming, right?” she asks, even if she already knows the answer, to prolong the moment. She doesn’t want him to see her rosy cheeks. And Bellamy also gives the best hugs – period.

“Even if I have to move mountains” he promises.

Clarke pecks his cheek before withdrawing her arms and stepping back. She rolls her eyes at him, playfully. “Nerd” she teases, but she knows he knows how grateful she is. “I need to bounce some ideas off you. Let’s get a drink. I’ll pay”

Bellamy snorts. “It’s an open bar”

“Then I’ll get you two drinks” she jokes.

 

***

 

“What the hell, asshole?” Clarke punches Bellamy’s shoulder, lightly. She’s against every form of violence, but why does Bellamy Blake have to be such an idiot?

“Ouch!” he yelps, and he rubs over his shoulder. “I remember that when your relationship with Lexa ended, you got a whole lot of comfort from us – not punches”

“That’s because my situation actually needed some sympathy. You’re just stupid! Why would you break up with someone like _Gina_?” she demands. 

Bellamy’s jaw clenches and he presses his lips in a thin line, his eyes searching hers for a moment. “Fuck” he lets out a sigh that seems to release his body from a lot of tension. “I don’t know, okay? I—Well, I—“ he rubs his brow and Clarke has never seen him so— _lost_. “I just woke up one morning and realised she wasn’t the one. I really liked her, we had a lot of fun together, but it was just that.. It wasn’t fair to either one of us to pretend it would ever be more..”

He looks so sad, so forlorn, that Clarke knows her words won’t be enough. So, she does the only thing she hopes will sooth him a little. She puts her arms around him and pulls him in close. Bellamy returns her hug and Clarke’s nose finds its regular spot in the crook of his neck.

After a moment, she says, “I know you’re going to find that one person, Bell. You’ll find your Monty. Or your Roan. Don’t worry about it”

When they let go of each other he tries to give her a smile, but Bellamy looks even sadder than a moment ago.

 

* * *

 

 

In the next few months, Clarke’s life centres around making the painting she’s going to exhibit at the art show. Bellamy told her about the nine muses in Greek mythology once, just after Monty and Miller’s wedding. They were watching the stars and drinking some beers, and that’s where she got her inspiration from for this piece.

Clarke decides to paint a modern day version of Clio, the Greek muse of history. A woman with flowing red curls, freckles inspired by the milky way that Bellamy carries on his skin, surrounded by books Clio’s reading (books that are both Bellamy and Clarke’s favourites), daisies and an hourglass.

A small part of Clarke wonders what Lexa would’ve thought of her creation and wishes she could share it with the woman, but Clarke reminds herself that Lexa chose to end what they had. They’re over and done, so Clarke’s going to do this on her own and she’s going to be amazing.

Clarke can’t wait to display it in the art gallery so everyone can see it. She’s looking forward to Bellamy’s reaction the most – her best friend, her rock, the history buff. That’s why she’s so disappointed when he cancels.

“I’m _so_ sorry, Princess” he apologises, a sad look in his brown eyes. “You know how badly I want to be there with you.”

“It’s okay, I get it” Clarke rushes to say, suppressing the feelings of sadness and let down. Her gaze drops to his feet; she doesn’t want him to read her eyes like the open book she knows they are. “Your students have a test you need to supervise – that’s way more important.”

“This is important, too” Bellamy insists, and Clarke hears a tone of desperation in his voice.

“Not really” she presses, trying to give him a smile. “My painting will be in the gallery for some months, we can always go see it another time. Or when I get it back.”

“Someone’s going to buy it” Bellamy says determined, and he looks so certain it makes Clarke laugh. “Mark my words, Princess – it’ll be gone by Unity Day.”

Clarke gives him a smile. “Thanks for your confidence in my talent. But seriously—“ she adds, the ambiance much lighter between them now. “It’s going to be fine. Raven and Monty will be there too, so it’s not like I won’t have backup.”

Bellamy gives her a shy smile and nods. “I’ll be at your next grand exhibition opening. I promise.”

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke is wearing a classy knee-length dark blue dress during the art show that makes her eyes pop and hugs her curves nicely. A lot of people have admired her appearance, but even more have admired her painting. The gallery is packed, her friends are there to witness this milestone in her life, and Clarke has even had a few guests express interest in buying her piece. 

She couldn’t be happier and the smile she’s carrying proves it.

However, if Clarke’s completely honest with herself, there’s _one_ thing (person) that could make this night even more momentous.

And when he enters the gallery, out of breath, in jeans, and a hasty look covered by crooked glasses, she almost drops her glass of champagne in shock. She leaves her conversation partner, some old white man who was looking more down her dress than at her eyes, without another word.

“You’re here” she breathes, surprised.

Bellamy’s face breaks out into a gorgeous smile. “I’m here. The professor I’m TA’ing for told me I could go, so I came straight away” he looks around at his surroundings. “I’m not too late, am I?”

“You have impeccable timing, actually. You saved me from some horny old dude—Relax, I’m fine” she assures him, quickly, when she sees the beginning of a glare on his face. “You want a drink?”

“I want to see your painting first.”

“That can be arranged.” Clarke smiles, and she puts her arm in his and leads the way.

Clarke tells Bellamy the story behind her painting; what inspired her to make it and what all the items surrounding Clio represent. She keeps Clio’s freckles to herself, though – Bellamy doesn’t need to know about her slight obsession with them. 

Bellamy is completely silent when she speaks and stays quiet for a long moment after. It almost makes her nervous, but Bellamy’s presence, his warmth, and the fact that he went out of his way to fulfil his earlier promise to be there, can make her feel nothing but gratitude and love. Clarke’s just so happy he’s here with her, in the gallery and in her life, and she’s reminded again how incredibly important he is to her. No one is his equal.

“It’s gorgeous” he eventually says, soft. “I can’t believe how talented you are, Clarke. Just— _wow_ ” his eyes still haven’t left Clio.

Clarke has to swallow down a lump in her throat that appeared out of nowhere. “Thanks, Bell. This would've never happened if it weren't for you and your friendship”

He disagrees, predictably, but instead of discussing who’s right, they hug it out.

 

* * *

 

 

“Clarke? Hi. It’s me” the blonde hears a woman say when she answers her cell. She recognises the voice immediately – the sultry and melodic sound was one she loved very dearly once. The shock of hearing it so suddenly makes her heart stop for a second.

“Lexa?” Clarke asks surprised.

“Yes. I— Is this is a good time?”

“Sure” she responds, too stunned to say more.

“I wanted to congratulate you with your art show. I heard you made a magnificent piece.”

“Thank you” Clarke’s hand grips her cell tighter, while millions of thoughts cross her mind. “How did you know?” she settles on asking.

“Luna was there. We still email from time to time” Lexa answers, sounding cool, but not necessarily unfriendly. Lexa was always hard to read. Clarke learned Lexa hid the truth in the way she unconsciously displayed her lips. Her ex always tried very hard to show her true feelings as little as possible and especially her voice was always levelled, very business-like.

Come to think of it, Bellamy was the exact opposite – he carried his heart on his sleeve and his warm, brown eyes truly mirrored his soul. Clarke loves that about him.

“That’s nice. Luna was always very nice” Clarke bites her lips. “How’ve you been?”

“Really well. We’re actually recording our second album now” Lexa answers, and before Clarke has the chance to congratulate her, her ex continues. “I miss you, sometimes, but I know it was the right decision. I know you know it too. Things weren’t—well, they weren’t how they used to be”

“They weren’t..” Clarke agrees, soft. “But, I really thought they could be again”

“Maybe..” Lexa grants. “But life was so crazy, and things between us were bad and to me it didn’t feel that way…”

They’re both silent for a beat. Clarke doesn’t know what to say, so Lexa’s the one who breaks the silence.

“But, I’m really very sorry, Clarke, if I hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you. Ever” Clarke hears Lexa swallow over the phone. “I really loved you Clarke”

Clarke nods to herself. “I really loved you too”

“I know. I hope it’s not too much of a cliché, but I’ll always treasure our time together”

Clarke chuckles lightly. “Definitely cliché. You should use it for a song” she teases, and she can hear Lexa laugh. “But, ditto”

“I’m actually going to be in town next month” Lexa informs her, sounding a little unsure. “Would you like to catch up or something?”

“I’d like that very much”

When Clarke hangs up, she feels light. She realises she’s more in love with the memories she shares with Lexa than with Lexa herself and her heart is at peace now; all the pieces of her heart that Lexa once owned are all hers again.

Although it feels like they belong with someone else now.

 

* * *

 

 

“So, who are you guys taking to the Unity Day party?” Jasper asks, when he, Monty, Raven and Clarke are playing video games at Jasper’s. Golf on Wii Sports this time.

Raven snorts. “It’s not like you don’t know Monty is going with his _husband_ , and I’m going with my _boyfriend_. So, that was either a very smooth way to inform us that _you’re_ taking someone to the bonfire, or you just want to know what Clarke’s deal is”

“Obviously I want to know what the hot blonde is up to for Unity Day” Jasper responds, with a teasing grin, making Clarke and Monty laugh and making Raven roll her eyes amused.

“Did Maya say yes?” Monty asks, as he swings his Wii remote and successfully hits the golf ball.

“Maya said yes” Jasper confirms, grinning excitedly.

“Then she must really like you – Unity Day isn’t really a first date kind of thing” Clarke smiles. The moment she says it, Clarke’s brain does something funny and the smile she wears falters.

She remembers something she had forgotten years ago. Her earlier statement makes her friends’ replies turn into white noise and makes an old memory of Bellamy pop up. The one where he’s standing next to her at the bar, all those years ago, and asking her if she wants to be his date.

 _And since when is Unity Day a_ date _thing?_

_Unity Day isn’t really a first date kind of thing._

“Holy shit” Clarke says, and three pairs of eyes turn to her.

“What?” Raven asks.

“Bellamy asked me out” Clarke blurts out, in shock.

“Again?” Jasper asks.

“ _Again_?” Clarke almost chokes. “What?”

“Yeah, you know, after the first time. When you said no” Raven supplies.

Clarke rests her elbows on her knees and mindlessly stares at the wall opposite from her, giving her mind a moment to process all of her thoughts. “I forgot about that. I just remembered. Wait—“ she turns her gaze to her friends. “You guys knew?”

“Uhhh.. yeah..” Monty mumbles, pausing the game. “It was kind of obvious that he liked you. He told us a while later that you shot him down”

“It was very disappointing. I still haven’t fully forgiven you – I was really rooting for you guys” Jasper pouts.

Raven rolls her eyes. “Shut it, Jas. What I’d like to know is how in the hell you forgot Blake asked you out?”

“Because I didn’t think he was serious! Bellamy didn’t date back then, he only slept around. I wasn’t interested in being a notch on someone’s bedpost – and definitely not his. And then I met Lexa”

“Well, how do you feel about it now?” Monty asks. “Now Bellamy doesn’t sleep around anymore and Lexa is out of the picture. And Gina too, by the way”

Clarke and Bellamy both fell in love with different people and years have gone by. Bellamy’s probably over his infatuation for her already and Clarke doesn’t even know how she feels herself. “Does it even matter?” Clarke asks.

Raven, Monty and Jasper share a look. “What do _you_ think?” Jasper asks, hesitant.

“I don’t think it does”

Raven lets out a loud, annoyed groan and makes a face. “Clarke, I love you to death, but sometimes you can be so damn dumb for a smart person – _it still matters_ ”

“ _Definitely_ ” Jasper emphasizes.

“If you want it to.” Monty reminds everyone, and Clarke casts him a grateful smile.

“I guess I never really thought about it”

“Never?” Raven asks disbelievingly, and she raises an eyebrow at the blonde.

Fine, she lied. Sometimes Clarke does think about it; fantasizes what it would feel like to hold Bellamy’s hand, to fall asleep against his bare chest and wake up with him in the morning. To kiss him, to love him, to take care of him. When he laughs, something flutters inside of her stomach. When he hurts, she aches as well. If Clarke doesn’t see him for a week— “Fine, okay. Maybe I have thought about it” she admits and Jasper lets out a very unmanly squeal. “The universe can send me a sign if you’re right and things _still matter_ ”

“I’m always right, Griffin. You know this” Raven smirks.  

“Bellamy also thinks he’s always right, so if I sell my painting before the Unity Day party, like he predicted, I’ll ask him to be my date to the party. Deal?”

“Sounds good to me”

Monty raises a hand and his wedding band catches the sunlight, lighting up. “Sounds good to me as well” he smiles.

Jasper agrees, grinning like a kid in a candy store.

 

***

 

Clarke gets the call three days later. An anonymous buyer has bought her painting. Which means Clarke has two things to do: cash in the check and, of course, keep her promise to Raven. Clarke’s not as nervous as she anticipated; Clarke knows she can always trust her friends, and if they’re wrong, Bellamy won’t let it ruin their friendship.  

Bellamy is equally parts excited, proud and smug. “I told you so. Didn’t I tell you? Yes I did” he smiles when he comes over to celebrate.

He brought two pieces of cheesecake from her favourite bakery – one that’s almost a 40 minute drive away. “You absolutely did not have to do this, Bell” she kisses his cheek in thanks. “But, I love you very much for it”

The tips of his ears redden adorably. “It was no trouble. I did it for selfish reasons too – this cheesecake is to die for”

Three minutes later, Clarke lets out a moan when her first bite of the cheesecake hits her tongue. “This is the best dessert I’ve ever had in my life. I should have this every day”

“Your cholesterol level would be off the charts” he comments, dryly.

“Another step closer to my food coma death” she winks.

Bellamy swallows a piece of his cake and points his fork at her, smiling. “True. You’re very clever, Princess”

Clarke smiles brightly. “You think I’m smart?”

He nods and smiles amused. “ _Very_ ” he says in an exaggerated and teasing tone. “And you’re _hilarious_ , ridiculously talented and your taste in music is, as the youngsters say, on point” he adds, still in a joking matter.

Clarke chuckles. “Yes, I’m _awesome_. Can’t say the same about you, though” she teases and he laughs good-naturedly. “You’re smug, annoying, and a nerd”

“All true – how do you stand being my friend?”

“I’ve learned to enjoy it – I’m smart like that” she winks. “Actually, I always enjoy spending time with every side of you”

“Yeah?” he laughs, not seeing where she’s trying to take the conversation.

 _Here’s to hoping Raven really is as smart as she thinks she is, and that Monty and Jasper don’t just have a wild imagination._ “Yeah, I kinda love everything about you.”

Bellamy smirks and rolls his eyes – he’s still not getting it. He has already opened his mouth ready to reply, but Clarke interrupts him with _the_ question. “Do you want to be my date to the Unity Day party? Or something else? Unity Day isn’t really a date thing.”

Whatever remark Bellamy had, it dies on his lips and his jaw drops a bit. He looks flabbergasted. “Okay..” he mumbles after a moment.

Clarke bursts out in laughter. “This is so not how I expected your reaction to be. You’re so— _shocked_. Do you even want to be my date? Was Raven wrong?”

Bellamy’s shocked expression turns into one of confusion. “Raven?”

“Yes, she was so certain you’re into me that we made a bet of sorts.” Clarke answers.

“A bet?” confusion turns into amusement. “Do I even want to know?”

“Just that if I sold my painting before Unity Day, like you predicted, I would ask you out” Clarke explains.

“I feel like luck really was on my side” he smiles, before it turns smug. “But, I know it’s my intelligence as usual – I was right, after all”

Clarke rolls his eyes. “Nerd” she says fondly.

Three minutes later, Clarke lets out a moan when she tastes Bellamy’s tongue for the first time when he kisses her. This tops the dessert he brought over _any_ day.

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke’s so happy with Bellamy as her boyfriend, it’s ridiculous. He has awakened a light and a warmth inside of her that makes her heart beat faster and makes her feel alive. Being his girlfriend has all the perks of being his best friend, but with the added physical component: they have sex, fall asleep in each other’s arms and have their fair share of PDA. Bellamy and she still bicker, but it’s awesome – now when they make up they can make out, and that’s the best thing that has ever happened to her.

They talk about the future, briefly, and Clarke can see it makes Bellamy feel more at ease. To know Clarke’s just as serious about them as he is, that she’s not planning on going anywhere, even though she planned on meeting Lexa for coffee in a couple of days. She loves Bellamy, and always has. She just never realized it could be like this with him, or she wouldn’t have spent so long looking for this kind of love with other people. 

“I have some great old memories with Lexa, but now I want to make new ones. With you, especially” Clarke assures him when she’s sitting in his lap. Her fingers are playing with the curls at the nape of his neck and she nuzzles his nose.

Bellamy smiles fondly and Clarke recognises something vulnerable starting in his eyes. “Good. I—I need this to be real, Clarke. I’ve waited for you for so long.”

“This is as real as it can be. And you do have me now. All of me” she promises, before adding another truth. “I love you, Bell”

“I love you too” he whispers against her lips, before he kisses her.

Clarke’s not even mad when she finds out Roan was her anonymous buyer, who bought her painting at Raven’s _suggestion_. She still pretends to be to save face, though, but she’s not fooling anyone.  Anyone with eyes can see that she and Bellamy were meant to be. Monty claims they have rom-com heart eyes when they look at each other and Raven rolls her eyes at the way Clarke melts into Bellamy’s side when he puts his arm around her.

Oh well - there are more important things to worry about.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you let me if you liked, that's always awesome! :D xo [Poppy](https://fieldsofpoppyflowers.tumblr.com/)


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